I had a pity party for myself!
I laid on the couch and did very little other then eat junk food.
My pants are tight today. My fault.
I need to figure out wtf I am doing and what I want to be doing.
I need to figure out where in the hell my drive went and what is going on in my head.
I need to use this hatred I am having for certain people as fuel for workouts. Not fuel to eat more ice cream.
I know what I need… So why is it I keep thinking of chocolate ice cream?
Why don’t I care right now?

i went out on the bike. Made it 26 minutes before I said fuck it! The wind almost blew me off the road, my toes were already numb, and my lady bits were already throbbing.
I am not riding my road bike again until I get a bike fit! I am done with the pain! I am done doing things when it hurts so bad and then I get so defeated.
I came home changed shorts and went out for a run.

Great cadence without the metronome.

Walked the first few minutes, ran the next 3.77 miles (well except for that minute where I thought I was going to pee my pants in mile 3)
Right after the mile 3 I felt 2 pin pricks on the outside of my left knee.At 3.77 I felt them again and called it. My IT band is fraked!
Came home, rolled and iced, and then rolled and iced a few more times today.
Took a 3 hour nap on the couch!
I don’t know where I am going with training or what I am doing. I am tired of fighting so hard just to get out there. I can’t imagine not training but I also can not keep going at this rate.
All the plans in the world do not always work out…
6 am wake up call. Yep went back to sleep.
Slept in. NEEDED! it!
Hit up the 99 cent sale at goodwill.
Got a haircut
Biked 20 minutes to the garden. Pulled weeds. Hoe’d, planted, and watered. Biked 20 minutes home.
Went to Menards. Got a HORRID heat headache for the next couple hours.
My planned run didn’t happen.
O well. Almost all garden items are planted and I learned I still can’t tolerate the heat :(
Tomorrow for real going out for 40 miles.
Long story short. I work for a very small business that was just bought out on the 15 th. So far I live the new owners. They are smart and rational. Everything my old boss wasn’t.
I do the estimating for jobs.
I messed up and some fucking how missed 33,000 sq ft on a job. Now we are in a contract and the new people most likely have to eat it. (= > 100k)
I feel worse then horrid.
So, since food cures all I came home and ate every single fucking feeling I could cram into my pie hole.
Chocolate chip cookies (that I made for my bosses) homemade ham and bean soup, homemade corn bread, TJ’s fruit sticks, chocolate covered cherries, sesame sticks, peanut butter chips, and more chocolate chip cookies.
I feel hopped up on speed with all this sugar coursing trough my veins.
Must sleep. Need to get up early and ride 40 miles before it is in the 90’s.
You know Victoria,
Just because life is crazy and work is ridonkulous that doesn’t mean that you have gained a hundred pounds or that you are any weaker than yesterday…
You are wearing the same size of pants you were a couple of weeks ago. They are not any tighter.
Everything is going to be ok.
Get some sleep tonight and get up tomorrow and bust your ass on the bike.
OK good.
Just found out I messed up a contract by o um over a $100,000……..
If anyone needs me I will be under a rock for a long bit… maybe 100,000 bits…
Happy Hump day!