Bike

4.5 miles
25:07 min
10.8 avg speed

Notes
-Riding right after donating plasma = suck
-Sit bones are very sore. Pearl izumi shorts need like a blow up pad or something
- left shoulder blade tingly. Shoes must have been too tight because feet were tingly too
- lots of chain noise in lots of gears

Well Crap…

I was able to get off the Effexor XR. I was having some digestive issues that were pretty intolerable.

I have been off of it for 10 days. Anxiety is back and it omg through the roof. 

Heart palpitations for hours on end. 

Emailed Dr. She doesn’t want to treat me for it anymore as I have had so many adverse reactions :( 

Hmm… What to do now. 

I guess it is a good thing I bought a bicycle… Maybe I can ride the anxiety away? 

New bike

Even have clippy pedals

First ride

Swoon!

My financial life might be falling apart…

So obvious thing to do is order an amazing Giant Invite 2 in blue. Right??

Update

Because I know you are all on the edge of your seats…

A: I had a long conversation with the other lady that works at my current job. She does the accounting. I found out the owners are trying to can hubs for no good reason and they are doing a bunch of really crappy stuff behind the scenes. 

—she is pretty sure this company will be closing in 3 months or less (something i already suspected)

— she won’t give me details but said more than once “they are using you”. I know this to some extent. I literally know more about this industry (spray foam) than anybody else here. Actually probably more than them all combined. 

B: New job… Whelp they are offering WAY less than what I was hoping. There are possibilities of bonuses and an insurance stipend and eventually moving from operations coordinator to operations manager. There is also a chance within a couple of years a similar position would open up in the town I live in,. \

—sadly i am too scared/lazy to go look for a different job. I have many qualifications but they are so spread out… I used to be a LPN, I have an associates and almost a BA in organizational communication, I can read blue prints, I can manage a lot of things, I know A Lot about spray foam. But not a lot of those things go together for a perfect awesome dream job. O and I have a child who requires a lot of appointments. People do not like hearing that…

Anyway, I said I would accept the less than stellar wages becuase well I would rather be broke as F than work for my current fuck faces! 

Job thoughts

I have NOOOOO idea what wage to request. I don’t want to come in low and lose out on money. I don’t want to come in too high that they tell me to fly a kite… Ugh. Stressing me out.

Also stressing me out- Are they going to make me SIT at a desk all day? I don’t think I could ever adjust back to a sitting desk. I made my standing desk first thing in January. Best decision ever!! 

The position is salary. I am on call 7 days on 7 days off. My main job would be scheduling and hiring. I also would have to commute 100 miles a day. 

What would you charge? 

Friday 5

A list of greats today!

- This job offer (even though things are far from settled) has me over the moon. Technically it could not work out. Man does it feel so amazing to have someone (who I have only worked for for 1.5 mo) hone on in my talents and out of the blue offer me a job

- My aunt T and uncle C gave me mad props. Then out of the blue my step mother sent a text “So proud of the job you are doing fighting for what is best for son. You have grown and changed so much and I am very proud of the woman you have become”. This is from the lady who told me for years i wasn’t a good enough mom and she was sure CPS would take him away if they were ever called. She is the same person who has accused me of teaching son about suicide as children can’t be suicidal on their own. So to get that text….#blownaway

- There was a humongous argument at my house last night. Fortunately all was resolved and I am hopeful for some positive changes. 

- Son is having a decent week. I wish the staff would help him with goals and such. Unfortunately as it stands now he probably has another 4 months there.. 

- O boys love love my bumpin stereo. Had a dude hanging out his window trying to get my car to come up to his lane or some shiz. Not my style. However, it was funny :) Had a youngin tell me I had a nice car. Never mind I have serious hail damage. He only “saw” the stereo. 

OMGEEE

So I was getting ready for bed and I got a text message from my boss at job 3- the home care job.

She asked me if I would be interested in a coordinator job!!!!

I am her first pick for the position.

There are a lot of things to talk about. I have to tell her what my pay requirement is ect.

It feels fucking amaze balls that someone in my job life thinks so highly of me.

I want to buy a bike
(bicycle) I don’t know why I have been feeling so impulsive (hello Kate spade bag)
But I really want a bike
Last year I really wanted a treadmill
It is not being used much

Google

I google everything. And then evaluate different sources as I know everything on the net isn’t true. 

I *try* very hard to not give an answer if I do not know the answer.

I can NOT stand bullshitters. Google it if you do not know. 

If you screw up at your job, bullshit me, give me misinformation, or himhaw around, I will lose any ounce of respect I may have had for you. 

I do however hold a lot of respect for a person who says, “I do not know that answer. However, I will do my best to get an answer to you.”

This rant brought to you by a sleepy, crabby, impatient Victoria. 

Please send smart people! 

Sleep and Food

My slow weight loss is at a stand still. 

I am realizing the more tired I am the more I eat. 

Like today. I am so tired I feel dizzy. So, I keep wanting to eat something in an effort to help me wake up.

I do not know why I keep getting so tired. I get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. 

Tomorrow I work 14.5 hours so I am defiantly hoping I feel better… 

Rambling post… Anyway, sleeping = Eat more = 0 weight loss 

Fitness related

Can you believe it? I am going to post about fitness. Well at least planning on adding some sweating back into my life…. 

In November I am doing the Good Life Halfsy . As you all know I have not ran in a while :(. So, I am going to sign up for the training class at the Ymca with the lovely Holli. I love running with these groups and it is motivational to get there since I paid $$ to be there.

I am worried about fitting it all in as husbands radio screw up added another payment to the month which means 3 jobs will continue FAR longer than I planned :(. The reality though is my brain can not handle not sweating! I am so bitchy I can hardly stand myself! 

Anyway, long rambling post to say I intend to start running again.. Now to get my feet on the pavement! 

Holli: We should start running together on Sunday mornings now? What do you think? 

Car selfies are a thing? 

Yesterday:

- Son is taller than husband when he isn’t leaning on him. He has grown so much in the last couple of months. Pic #3. Before rehab hubs and son could hardly be in the same room together. Look at them now. My heart melts.

- My uncle C told me yesterday that he prays for us every night. That he understands God only gives us what we can handle but sometimes he wishes not all of us got tested (referring to son and I). My aunt T hugged me and told me that I am a good mom. That son needs extra help but that doesn’t mean that I am not a good mom. They made me cry. I have not ever had family be so heartwarming to me. 

- I didn’t cry at the funeral. My eyes welled up a couple times. I couldn’t figure out why I was/am so opposed to crying. Especially in front of people. The answer: I don’t want to be consoled.

- My son is not the same person I have known all these years. The kiddo inside has finally found a way out.

- My gma’s casket was beautiful. The pastor did the best summary of her. He really captured her presence in life.

-  Son has Boys Town in his life plan. In his mind it is just what is happening next. I am so proud of him for knowing what he needs and wants and going after it. 

- We sneaked son over to his other great grandma’s on the way home. It was so beautiful seeing them reconnect. 

- Son has a virus causing a little nasal drainage with corresponding sore throat. I have some vitamins I take that help with this stuff. They are called Nutribiotics. I gave him one not thinking about it. OMG rehab did not think that was a great idea. They were pretty rude to me about it. :( 

All in all I am so thankful my grandma was able to continue to give to her family yesterday by having the best funeral day ever. My heart is full. 

For Brit. 
My overpriced piece of fabric. 

Sadly, after I bought this I found out (via the store’s neighbor) that the Kate Spade store threw last years models in the trash. But not before taking a razor to them and rendering them useless. Needless to say I won’t support them any longer. They could donate to charity or something. 

Anyway, I love the bag even if the company is a group of schmucks.

For Brit.
My overpriced piece of fabric.

Sadly, after I bought this I found out (via the store’s neighbor) that the Kate Spade store threw last years models in the trash. But not before taking a razor to them and rendering them useless. Needless to say I won’t support them any longer. They could donate to charity or something.

Anyway, I love the bag even if the company is a group of schmucks.