Sugar. Fucking sugar is killing me. Stress = want sugar. I have plenty of stress = want lots and lots of sugar.
son is out. still on house arrest for at least another month
they had him scheduled to see a therapist instead of the intensive outpatient that was recommended. Not going to work for me. I will not have step down from treatment like that. Now, trying to get everyone to coordinate to get him what he needs. (Herding cats would be easier)
son is back to being son. this life will be long.
i still love him. he is doing the best he can with what he has to work with
i am working on a schedule to get son and i to the gym regularly at night. we both need the stress relief
drinking a latte right now. waste of money and they flavoring tastes like chemicals.
tired. so very tired. i hear this is a side effect of stress.
So tired all day I could have cried.
Bedtime, yep can’t sleep. Fun
When I visited son last night I found out he has not had his meds yet.
When I delivered the meds I wrote down the Dr’s names and phone numbers.
How much easier can I make it? Well, obviously not easy enough.
So I called this morning and the nurse was like O yeah, I was going to follow up on him today.
One of his meds is extremely important to his mood. Sorry to be a bitch but dude, we have enough going on right now.
I mean, what if he was diabetic? Would they just not give him insulin for 5 days?
I pushed snooze and went back to sleep
My legs are so sore it is hard to walk
I didn’t sleep well
and, well I hate getting up in the morning
Will try again tomorrow
A) crazy Doms all over! What a way to get started again. Hopefully I get up early in the morning and hit the gym
B) I got to see kiddo tonight! It has been hard not talking to him or seeing him. Court on Wednesday to see what happens next
C) making something special for a tumblr friend
I thought for sure the scale would be down something…..
Nope exactly the same :(
I feel like I am doing things right. I can’t believe it hasn’t changed!
Destination: Colorado, Phase 4
Puppy acquired by my mom and they’re on their way home!
Thanks for all of your good vibes… I can finally breathe again…whew!
Woo hoo! I bet that is one happy puppy
Last night I went out for supper. Son is gone and hubs had pool. I ordered a club with a side salad. I ate the salad without dressing. (it didn’t need it with the toppings it had) Then I ate the club. But ONLY HALF OF IT. Because I STOPPED when I was FULL!!
This morning I felt proud of myself.
I am dialing it back in and it feels so freeing. I haven’t been obsessing about food. I have eaten what I wanted (which includes the heavenly girl scout cookies) but I have been practicing portion control. I have been trying to pay attention to my hunger cues.
I am really in awe at the cycles of life. Not that long ago I couldn’t stop eating. I couldn’t stop thinking about food.
For today I am at peace with food.